feral but sober

“No More Shame: Tracy’s Fight From Chaos to Calling”-episode22

Tonight on Feral But Sober, Tracy steps into the light and tells a story that almost no one survives — but she did, and she turned it into purpose.
Tracy grew up in a home where nothing was safe and nothing made sense. Her mother struggled with severe mental illness and Munchausen by proxy, keeping the kids sick for sympathy. Her father was never home. Violence, chaos, and addiction were the air she breathed. By the time she was a teenager, Tracy was smoking just to feel pretty, accepted, and comfortable in her own skin.
She fell into her first abusive relationship in high school — a drug‑dealing boyfriend who became her first husband. At 17, pregnant and terrified, she was sent away to give her baby up for adoption. When the baby’s father’s family offered her a home and a chance to keep her child, her own mother threatened to disown her. Tracy chose her baby and didn’t speak to her parents for over two years.
But that home came with its own dangers. Pain pills were handed out like candy, domestic violence was constant, and Tracy had no language for what was happening to her. She had three kids with him before he went to jail, leaving her 19 years old, addicted, and running for her life.
Her second husband brought more meth, more violence, and even a DEA raid. Her third husband was someone she met in treatment — and for a while, she rebuilt. She got her kids back. She stayed off meth and Xanax. She went to church. She tried to hold everything together.
But untreated pain, shame, and a broken medical system pulled her back into
doctor‑shopping and pills. A devastating car wreck, multiple surgeries, and 11 rounds of electric shock therapy only deepened the spiral. She was arrested for prescription fraud. She attempted suicide multiple times. Her own daughter had to resuscitate her — twice. Doctors said she should be brain‑dead. She had to relearn how to walk and talk. And still, addiction pulled her back.
Her clean date is March 12, 2012 — the day her daughter saved her life for the last time.
Today, Tracy has 13 years in recovery. She lives with lupus, but she lives with purpose. She did a meeting a day for almost five years. She worked the steps. She sponsors women across the state and online. She divorced the husband who wouldn’t stop drinking and married a man she met in AA — a man with 22 years in recovery who stands beside her in the life they rebuilt together. They own a body shop. She’s a CCAR‑certified interventionist. And she wrote a book called No More Shame: From Victim to Victorious.
Tracy says, “When shame said stay down, grace said get up.”And tonight, she tells the truth about what it took to rise.

“Welcome Home: The Greeting That Changed Keith’s Life Forever”-clawsout16

Today’s episode features Keith — a man who survived childhood cruelty, addiction, shame, and a near-suicide attempt, and somehow turned all of it into a life of service. With 14 years in recovery, Keith is now a certified peer recovery coach at a regional hub in Indiana, endorsed in mental health, gambling, MRT, and forensic support. He also facilitates “Alternatives to Suicide,” a harm‑reduction‑based support group offering space for people who feel unseen and unheard.Keith opens up about growing up in poverty, being labeled “slow,” riding the short bus, and enduring emotional abuse that dimmed his childhood light. He shares the moment he believes his innocence was stolen — a moment so cruel it shaped decades of self-worth. By age 12 he was exposed to drugs, porn, and chaos, setting the stage for addictions that followed him into adulthood.His story moves through two divorces, fatherhood, doctor shopping, and the day he swallowed a whole bottle of pills on the way to work. He quit opiates, but white‑knuckling recovery pushed him into a mental health spiral that ended with a gun in his mouth — and one thought that stopped him from pulling the trigger.Two months later, a move to Terre Haute and a quiet inner voice led him into a church where a greeter said two words that changed everything: “Welcome home.” Keith got saved, got baptized, and eventually felt called to work with justice‑involved individuals. Today he mentors men inside a level‑4 maximum security prison, teaches addiction classes, serves as a Deacon, and is working toward becoming a nationally accredited peer support specialist in 2026.This episode is about trauma, faith, recovery, and the unexpected ways purpose finds us. Keith’s story is proof that even when the light goes out, it can be reignited — and used to guide others out of the dark.

“From Meth at 12 to Fatherhood at Full Strength: Shiloh’s Redemption Story”-episode21

In today’s episode, I’m sharing the story of someone I respect deeply — my friend Shiloh. He’s part of my TikTok community, and he’s one of those people you can always count on to show up with steady, level‑headed advice and a whole lot of heart. But the life he came from… most people wouldn’t have survived it.
Shiloh’s story starts with abandonment. His mother left when he was a baby, and he was handed off to a father who was deep in addiction. By the time Shiloh was 12, his dad was letting him shoot meth. At 15 or 16, he was cooking it, selling it at school, and hustling money out of the concession stand with a friend. His behavior spiraled so far out of control that his aunt used her connections to get him into a youth ranch. It went okay for a while — until a fight ended with Shiloh stabbing another boy. The wound was superficial, but it was enough to send him to prison for the first time.
When he got out, nothing had changed. Same dad. Same drugs. Same chaos. Jail became a pattern. Even when he tried to settle down with the mother of his first child, the stealing and using never stopped. He missed his first child’s birth, and that moment hit him hard. He swore he’d never go back to jail again — and he kept that promise — but sobriety was still a long way off.
Things got even messier when Shiloh, an ex, her new partner, and all the kids ended up living under one roof. Jealousy, chaos, and crime took over. They were running a whole operation together until the cops showed up. They didn’t have a warrant the first time, but Shiloh knew they’d be back. He got out of there, but the damage was done. His kids went into the system, and that was the moment that broke him open. That was the moment he said, “Enough.”
Shiloh went into treatment and did something most people don’t — he completed every requirement and then went beyond it. He fought for his kids, and he got them back. Today, he’s raising all five children on his own. Both mothers are mostly out of the picture, but Shiloh shows up every single day. He’s active in church, grounded in recovery, and determined to break the cycle that nobody broke for him.
He tells his kids the truth: “You lived my addiction. You’re part of my recovery.”And he means every word.
Shiloh is one of the most open, vulnerable, emotionally honest men I’ve ever met. He reaches out to people who are struggling, he doesn’t hide his past, and he uses his story to lift others up. I’m proud to know him, and I’m honored to share his journey with you

“I Became the Animal My Father Raised—And Then I Became Something More" Clawsoutpt15

In this episode of Feral But Sober, Joseph steps into the light to tell a story most people wouldn’t survive, let alone speak out loud. His earliest memory is rolling weed for his parents at just four years old. By the time he was a child, he had already endured sexual abuse, neglect, and a home where violence was the language spoken daily. When he moved in with his father—an explosive alcoholic—Joseph was treated less like a son and more like an animal, sleeping in a cage with dogs, eating dog food, and bracing himself for the nightly beatings.At fourteen, he fought for his own emancipation and won. But freedom didn’t mean safety. A double rotator cuff injury at fifteen pushed him into drinking, homelessness, and survival mode. When he returned to his father’s house, hoping for stability, he was instead introduced to shooting cocaine—an act that sent him into a spiral of rage, addiction, and self‑destruction. His father stole his money, stole his camper, and left him stranded.Joseph’s anger became his armor. “I became the animal my father raised,” he says—and for years, he lived like it. Bar fights, street fights, blackouts, and a growing belief that he didn’t feel pain like other people. An MMA trainer spotted him after a brawl and recruited him, giving him money, recognition, and a platform that fed his addictions. He stayed clean only long enough to pass drug tests, using alcohol, LSD, and acid to silence the part of him that knew he was hurting others and himself.Just before his 19th birthday, after two weeks of partying, Joseph collapsed in a bar and woke up in the ICU with IVs behind his knees. A doctor told him he shouldn’t be alive. He walked out of the hospital and straight into a meeting—where he was told to leave for being “too new.” He tried another meeting and had another bad experience. But he didn’t quit.And that’s where everything changed.Joseph has been clean since 1998. Today, he’s a father of four, rebuilding relationships, breaking generational cycles, and proving that the story you’re born into doesn’t have to be the story you die with. He is no longer the animal he was raised to be. He is a loving, present, sober man who chose to become something more.This episode is about survival, transformation, and the power of refusing to let your past define your future.

“Kizzy: The Woman Who Shouldn’t Be Here… But Is.”-episode20

Today on Feral But Sober, I sat down with my girl Kizzy from The New Foundation Recovery Speaks — and she opened up in a way that was raw, honest, and unbelievably powerful.Kizzy told us that her very first addiction wasn’t alcohol or pills — it was men and sex. In high school, she was extremely promiscuous, not because she wanted attention or drama, but because she truly believed sleeping with someone would make them love her. That was the only version of “love” she understood at the time, and it shaped everything that came after.And when you hear the rest of her story, you understand exactly why.Kizzy grew up with young parents who did the best they could, but at just nine years old, she survived years of sexual assault from her grandfather — a man she couldn’t escape, a man she still had to sit on the lap of at holidays. That trauma rewired her understanding of safety, affection, and worth. She was an athletic star in high school, popular, talented, killing it on the outside… but carrying a whole different world on the inside.She went to college, started drinking heavy, met her first husband, and they had that fast, whirlwind romance. What she didn’t know was that he had a secret addiction. They went through two painful terminations, had two beautiful daughters, and somewhere in the middle of all that, Kizzy got introduced to pain pills after an injury — and the numbness felt like relief from everything she’d been running from.Her parents stepped in with a small intervention and got her into treatment, and for a while she stayed off the pills. She was working, raising her girls, doing good. Then she met her second husband — and the second the ring was on, everything changed. He didn’t want her kids around. He didn’t want them heard. He didn’t even want them eating outside their rooms. When he told her she “would’ve been alright if she didn’t come with kids,” she left — and that’s when alcohol took over.She didn’t even realize she was addicted until she woke up in withdrawal. The drinking got so bad she sent her girls to live with their dad, and they never lived with her again. She went to New Mexico fully intending to drink herself to death — six months, half a gallon of vodka a day. She collapsed outside and woke up a month later on life support. She had signed a DNR, but a nurse — who had just lost her brother to overdose — called Kizzy’s mom and said, “Not this one.” After Kizzy recovered, no one ever found that nurse again.Doctors told her she’d never live without oxygen or an insulin pump. They were wrong.She’s been sober 8½ years now. Married to a man who actually loves her. Showing up for people every single day on TikTok. Hosting morning lives. Helping women. Helping anyone who needs it.But the deepest wound is the distance between her and her daughters. She sends them both a text every single day that just says, “I love you.” For years those messages didn’t even deliver. Now they do — still no response — but maybe that’s a little crack of hope. Maybe one day they’ll be ready. And if they are, she’s waiting with open arms.Kizzy owns her past. She doesn’t sugarcoat it. She doesn’t blame anyone else. She stands in her truth and she stands in her recovery with so much grace.And I’m proud to say our platforms are partnering up — we’re running a weekly women’s Zoom group together, and we’re hosting a three‑hour sober New Year’s Eve live party so nobody has to ring in the new year alone.This episode is heavy, it’s honest, and it’s full of hope. Kizzy is living proof that you can lose everything, you can break, you can almost not make it — and still come back stronger, softer, and more full of purpose than ever.

“Ember: The Relapse That Rekindled Her Fire”-clawsoutpt14

In this episode of Feral But Sober, I sit down with Ember—a new friend I met on TikTok Live just a few weeks ago—who showed up ready to tell the truth about motherhood, addiction, relapse, and rebuilding.Ember shares how her addiction to amphetamines began as a desperate attempt to stay awake and keep up with life as a mom of three boys. What started as survival slowly pulled her into isolation, away from family gatherings, holidays, and the people who loved her most. When her kids began asking why they didn’t go anywhere anymore, she shut down—until the day she finally called her sister and confessed everything.Her family stepped in, ready to help her get to a 30‑day treatment program. But when childcare fell through at the last minute, Ember stayed home, sent her boys to their grandparents for a few days, and locked herself inside—sleeping, stabilizing, and only leaving for meetings. From there, she began to thrive. She joined recovery communities online, poured into others, and built nearly 60 days of sobriety.Then life hit hard, and Ember found herself in a relapse. It lasted only a few days, but it shook her. She talks openly about what pulled her down, what lifted her back up, and what she learned about boundaries, burnout, and the danger of trying to save everyone else before saving yourself. Today, she’s 17 days back in recovery—and we are so proud of her.Ember also shares the heartbreak of losing her brother to an overdose, and how grief shaped her journey without defining it. And in one of the most powerful moments of the episode, she recalls her young son looking at her this past Halloween and saying, “Mommy… I don’t know what happened, but can you stay this way?”That sentence changed her.That sentence anchored her.That sentence reminded her who she’s fighting to become.This is a story about relapse without shame, motherhood without perfection, and recovery without pretending. Ember shows us what it looks like to fall, get back up, and choose yourself again.

“Tyler’s Fight for Freedom: Service Animals, Parole, and Second Chances (Part 2)” episode 19

In Part 2 of Tyler’s story, we dive into the complicated and emotional battle surrounding his beloved service animal. After the dog bit his mother—requiring medical care—the large breed was detained by animal control. Though they agreed to release the animal after the mandatory hold, Tyler’s parole officer declared it a “vicious dog” and insisted he could not have it back. Tyler shares the raw details of reclaiming his companion anyway, and the looming threat of parole violation that hangs over him. Despite the risk, he believes the judge will see his side and not send him back to jail.Tyler also opens up about the program he’s working—MRT (Moral Reconation Therapy)—which could allow him to complete parole early this spring at his halfway mark. Alongside these challenges, he talks about spending time with his ex and her child, navigating family dynamics while trying to rebuild stability.Employment has been another hurdle. Tyler recently lost a job due to transportation issues, but his optimism shines through as he shares the good news of landing a construction job. His determination to keep moving forward, even when setbacks pile up, is a testament to resilience and hope in recovery.This episode is about the messy realities of parole, the deep bond between people and their service animals, and the grit it takes to keep fighting for a better life. Tyler’s journey reminds us that recovery isn’t linear—it’s a series of battles, victories, and choices that shape the path toward freedom.

“Still Here 91324: Building a Recovery Network One Ride at a Time”-claws out 13

In this inspiring episode, I sit down with Still Here 91324, the founder of a grassroots recovery foundation that’s already changing lives across his state. His mission is simple but ambitious: to create a network of support that eventually expands into every state, with a partner in each location running their own branch of the foundation. It’s a vision of nationwide solidarity, built from the ground up by someone who knows firsthand what service means.Still Here shares the incredible dedication behind his work—driving people to recovery meetings from all corners of his state, sometimes spending hours on the road and paying for gas out of his own pocket. He talks about the sacrifices he’s made, including pulling money from his retirement savings to launch and fund the foundation, proving that his commitment to recovery isn’t just words—it’s action.We also dive into the challenges of screening and deciding who the foundation can help. With limited resources, not everyone can be supported, and Still Here speaks candidly about the emotional weight of having to say no. His honesty about the struggles and the victories paints a vivid picture of what grassroots recovery work looks like: messy, exhausting, but deeply rewarding.This episode is about vision, sacrifice, and the relentless drive to make recovery accessible. From the dream of nationwide expansion to the everyday reality of giving rides and funding operations out of pocket, Still Here 91324 shows us what it means to live in service of others. His story is a reminder that recovery isn’t just about personal healing—it’s about building communities where no one has to walk the path alone.